Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Mama Said There'd Be Hours Like This . . . .

Don't you ever wonder why the last hour or so before Dad arrives home is the time when everything falls apart? I'd love to hear some theories on this phenomenon. We had one of those today, after a relatively idyllic morning filled with helping Mommy with her Sunday School bulletin board and a trip to the grocery store and an early afternoon of making homemade chocolate-chip cookies (from scratch, no less!). Here's the play-by-play:

4:10: Will awakes from his nap. Emily Anne automatically asks if he wants to play Hide-n-Go-Seek. Will nods his head and says, "Yes, Anne."

4:12: After Will has "hidden," Emily Anne says that it is his turn to count. I hear, ". . . nine, ten. Heah I come!"

4:13: I call Joel at the office to fill him in on this endearing experience. Joel talks with Will briefly, and we hang up.

4:15: The Hide-n-Seek-Game is now defunct. Will asks, "Mama, where my pirate puzz (puzzle)?" I look in his puzzle drawer, but it's not there. As I make my way to their stairs to see if it's in his room, he says, "Mama, I want popcorn."

4:18: I take a bag of popcorn out of the brand-new box and put it in the microwave. I haven't made popcorn in so long that I can't remember how long it takes. I know that it doesn't take as long as it says on the box, so I press the timer for five minutes and figure that I'll listen for the popping to slow down (You see where this is going, right?).

4:18:30: I hear hysterical screams from the playroom and run in to see what is the matter. Addie, our Goldendoodle, has chewed up a plastic tupperware container (one of her favorite pasttimes), which contained Emily Anne's newest pet, a cricket she caught herself in the yard. I grab another plastic container and set about to catch this varmint, which is still alive and hoppin'.
4:21: I take the cricket and its new habitat to the kitchen, which is enveloped in a choking haze of smoke. I open the door to the microwave and, with teary eyes, remove the hot, charred remains of the popcorn bag. I ensconce it in a plastic garbage bag and run it out to the outside garbage can.

4:24: I remove the glass carousel from the microwave and scrub it, stopping to turn on the exhaust fan (a little late). Once I get that cleaned off, I start to attack the browned inside of the microwave, but the fumes are too strong. I open the doors to the screened porch and plop myself down on the wicker loveseat.

4:32: Will comes out to the porch and says, "Mama, I hungy." I ask him if he wants a cookie (I know, I know--it was too close to dinnertime, but I was desperate). He says, "No, Will don like cookies" with a pout.

4:32:15: Will says, "Mama, I want cookie." We go inside to get a cookie and some milk. I try to coax him onto the porch so that his lungs won't be damaged by smoke inhalation while I tackle the inside of the microwave.

4:38: I've gotten the microwave as clean as I can get it. I vacillate on the idea of getting started on my ironing. Will my clothes all smell like they were dried over a campfire?

4:40: I decide to start on the ironing and get everything set up.

4:42: Emily Anne comes in to the laundry room and announces that she thinks she has sprained her ankle. I stop ironing my first item, turn the iron off so that no one will get burned and examine the ankle. There is nothing wrong with her ankle. I iron three items of clothing.

4:54: Emily Anne comes into the laundry room and announces, "Addie pooped in the playroom." I go in to investigate and discover that EA's announcement was, in fact, an understatement. Our huge dog must have an upset stomach because she has created a trail of diarrhea through our playroom.

4:55: Muttering under my breath a word very appropriate to the situation, I clean up the mess. I follow through with carpet cleaner and a feeble attempt at freshening the air with Febreeze. Can you just imagine what my house smells like now?

5:20: Joel walks in from work and says, "What is that horrible smell?"

It is times like this when I feel ill-equipped to handle the myriad demands of raising children and keeping a home, which I know to be His will for me at this season of my life. I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 9:8:

And God is able to make all grace abound to you,
so that in all things at all times,
having all that you need,
you will abound in every good work.
So, in acrid popcorn smoke amidst escaped hopping crickets at the last hour before the reinforcements arrive, God will provide. Through his grace He will equip me with the patience, endurance, forbearance, compassion, and olfactory powers to deal with any situation that should come up in my good work for His glory.


Jenn said...

Welcome to motherhood, ain't it grand!!! Oh I have had days like that. Crazy, crazy, crazy:)

Kathryn said...

Oh, I'm so sorry, but I had to laugh. These are my favorite posts ... probably because I can identify with them so well. :-)

Our new neighbor (who has two-year-old twins and is unexpectedly pregnant with her third child) came up to Katy on Memorial Day with tears in her eyes and a deer-in-the-headlight look. She asked if Katy would be willing to babysit some this summer. I interjected, "Katy is only 11 1/2 years old." My neighbor replied, quickly and with urgency, "That's okay; I'm not planning to leave the house. I'd just like a mother's helper to come and entertain the twins so I can go to the bathroom in peace!" I think Katy will be very busy this summer!

Another new friend, a Titus woman with grown children, wisely commented about "eternal days and lightening years". You, dear sister, are in the eternal days (and extra-long hours!) phase of life, but, before you know it, you will be reflecting on how quickly the "lightening years" passed!

~yolanda said...

Oh the joys of motherhood... :-)

Loved your post.


Abounding Treasures said...

Your experiences reminded me of my "eternal days" when my 3 children were all small ...

I couldn't help but chuckle ~ unbelievable things like that happen all the time and make for hilarious stories later when the children are grown!!

I am now a grandmother of one and am looking forward to a new addition this October. I only wish they didn't live on the other side of the country from me :o(

The bend of my heart is to be useful as a Titus 2 woman, as the Lord enables and leads.

Blessings to you and your sweet family.

Anonymous said...

Oh! That story is something else! Topaz popped his own bag of popcorn a couple of weeks ago. And it caught on fire. The white inside of my microwave is still yellow. Did you find out anything that worked to clean it? I even tried an eraser sponge and it didn't work... When I have days like these I take care of the situations and then reflect on it and giggle!! Am I crazy or what? It is amazing how quickly kids can get into things too. If I'm cleaning a room, they are in another one messing. And it is a vicious cycle. I told dh the other day, if I was to get the house 100%, he'd have to take them off some where or I'd have to tie them up! LOL
Try to have a good week, what's left of it!