Do not withhold your mercy from me, O LORD; may your love and your truth always protect me. For troubles without number surround me; my sins have overtaken me, and I cannot see. They are more than the hairs of my head, and my heart fails within me. Be pleased, O LORD, to save me; O LORD, come quickly to help me. May all who seek to take my life be put to shame and confusion; may all who desire my ruin be turned back in disgrace. May those who say to me, "Aha! Aha!" be appalled at their own shame. But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, "The LORD be exalted!"Yet I am poor and needy; may the Lord think of me. You are my help and my deliverer; O my God, do not delay.
- Psalm 40:11-17
- Psalm 40:11-17
Lately, I've been discouraged in my spiritual walk. It seems that whichever way I turn, I choose to sin. When the choice is between being exasperated or being patient with my son, I choose to be exasperated. When the choice is between uttering a kind or a cutting word, I choose the cutting word. When the choice is between being self-sacrificing or self-indulgent, I choose indulgence. Reading this passage, I could really identify with the fact that David's sins seemed to him to be more than the hairs of his head.
I can console myself that I am probably not sinning more than I was last year or five years or ten years ago. I am probably listening more closely to the Holy Spirit's convicting me of my sin. The fact that I am aware of my sins points toward my growing spiritual maturity. Oh, but how far I have to go! I think I need to keep Hebrews 12:1 in mind this week.
How do I keep persevering when I have so far to go in my quest to become more Christ-like? I ask God to "come quickly to help me." I cannot strive alone to become good. I can do so only through the help of His Spirit. I love the word "needy" in this scripture passage. It sums up what I am in relation to God. I can not do it on my own, but He is willing to help me. It is this knowledge that makes us "rejoice and be glad in You."
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